Dear Everyone: It's a second hand emotion.

A great scholar once begged the question "what's love got to do, got to do with it?" As true today, as the day it was written.

People put way, way too much stock in how they "feel" sometimes and are more that often not able to look outside these feelings that they are wrapped up in on a moment by moment basis. Just because you have this overwhelming feeling of need to be around another person, that does not mean you should be around them. It has been said that "love conquers all." This is true in some rare situations. When two people TRULY love each other, it can absolutely over come any obstacle, but what a lot of people tend to forget is that when two people TRUL love each other, most obstacles never present themselves.

Let's address the most obvious of relationship obstacles, infidelity. Can love conquer infidelity? Potentially. But what you should really be asking yourself is not "do we love each other enough to get past this?" but instead "why did this happen in the first place?" I've got a harsh fact for you people, no matter what you feel, or think, or are told, if someone cheats on you THEY DO NOT LOVE YOU! Think about a time when you have been truly in love, a real honest love. Think of how it made you feel, how you would do anything for that person, how there was little to nothing you wouldn't be willing to do to see that they never feel any pain. Remember that? Now, would you have ever cheated on that person?! Of course not you moron! And if your answer was "yes" or perhaps "well, I loved them, but I did cheat", then NO, you did not love them. You can argue that you loved them all you want, I'm sure you felt strong desires towards them of some kind, but it wasn't love. Love is not capable of cheating, CASE CLOSED.

It seems like a lot of people, especially as the days go by, are a bit confused with the feeling of love, and the feelings of infatuation, obsession, need, and habits of routine. There is no shame in falling to these traps, I myself have been there many times, we all go through it. I would say that part of growing in life is realizing the real differences between what is and is not love. Some figure it out early, some may not figure it out for years to come, some may never figure it out, but there is a big difference.

Let's now take a look at complacency. Sticking with someone because you "love" them, but realistically do not see the relationship lasting in the long run. Great Patrick Swayze's ghost! Do yourself and them a favor and just end it!! It is both a waste of time and insanely selfish to continue a relationship like that. It's certainly different if both people involved have established they don't see it lasting and perhaps just would like to continue to date for while because they enjoy each other's company. That's wonderful, more power to you. But if someone in a serious relationship can no longer see it lasting, be it marriage or whatever the long term plan is, it is already over. No point in biding wasted time.

People need to remember the age old phrase "there are always other fish in the sea." Normally reserved to comfort someone after a break up of some kind, but it is something to keep in mind if you are constantly going through problems. I'm certainly not suggesting that every time you hit a rough patch you leave that person. Relationships are a lot of work and always will be. But if someone has cheated, or you are fighting every day about stupid shit, or worse fighting every day about serious shit, or you just don't see yourself with that person in 10 years, or you don't trust the person, or they annoy you on a daily basis, or you just aren't attracted to them anymore... why bother? Oh wait, cause you LOVE them right? WRONG! Imagine who else might be out there? Whether you believe that there is one person out there that is MEANT for you or not, there is definitely at least someone out there that can make you ultimately happy. Based on nothing but statistics alone, their literally has to be someone out their that is just chemically built the right way that you can get along with damn near 24 hours a day. What is even the point in staying around someone that you just fight, scream, argue, bicker, or whatever with? There is literally no point. Let's pretend for a second you "really do love them" or whatever you've convinced yourself of... WHO GIVES A SHIT HOW YOU FEEL. The fact of the matter is, if you're miserable on a day to day basis, it is a bad relationship, ruuuuunnnnn!!! You WILL find someone else.

Bottom of the line, I know that it's easy to say when you're not in the situation. That of course is the whole problem. When you're in a relationship that is not working for one reason or another, but you feel you love the person, you of course want it to work and are going to put up with just about anything to make that happen until you hit your ultimate breaking point. And as always, you aren't going to listen to myself nor anyone else no matter how many times you hear these things. But just remember, no matter who you are, no matter what is in your past, no matter what your "problems" are, no matter what no matter what no matter what... there is someone out there that will love you no matter what. Find them. Don't tread water in a mediocre relationship because you "love" someone. If you are not jubilant on a day to day basis, it's not a good thing. Like I said, there will always be hard times, there will always be fighting, there will always be work. But if you're not waking up almost every single morning and falling asleep almost every single night with a smile on your face, thinking of the person you are with... then maybe you're thinking of the wrong person.